● Laura Thornberry ● Lifestyle Blogger ● London Based ●: relationships

AD| Are you newly single and looking for love, but unsure where to start? Are you finding it hard to meet the right person after previous dating experiences? Trying to navigate and get your head around the world of dating after past situations can be tricky, especially if you’re anxious and worried about it being "too soon".

It can be quite a nerve-racking experience when you find yourself getting back into dating after a long break. Many circumstances in our daily lives change, and this can have an effect on our future or potential relationships. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship or have been married, but are now single due to a break-up, divorce, or even becoming widowed. All of these outcomes can make our lives feel very uncertain, and ultimately, we can be unsure how and when we will be ready to date again - especially after a long break from relationships and dating. But with enough time, patience and the right dating apps - you could choose Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or even a widow dating site, you'll be on your way to starting your dating journey in no time. Let's take a look at 6 things to consider before getting back into dating after a long break.

- Focus on self-love and self-care. Before allowing anyone else into your life after you've taken a break from dating, one of the most important things to consider is yourself. You're the one who needs to feel ready to date again, and to welcome new people into your life. After a long break from dating, there's no rush at all, and it's important for you to take each step at your own pace, and make sure you feel comfortable with your dating endeavours.

- Channel a positive mindset. Positive mindsets and positive thinking are a key factor in getting back into dating. Of course, this isn’t that spark of magic that will make all of your problems disappear, but it can help you get back on a good path. During this time, it's vital to focus on the good things, but also come to terms with any negativity, and try to overcome anything getting in your way. By channelling a more positive mindset, you can give yourself that little confidence boost, as well as improving your overall mood and wellbeing.

- Know what you are looking for and what you want. You might be able to begin your dating journey again by using the best dating website or app for you. There are so many available out there now, for example, Tinder and Bumble, but there are also more specific genres like widow dating, over 50s, religious sites and disabled. After taking some time away from the dating scene, it can be hard to know exactly what you want, what you need or what feels right for you. Having these specific genres of dating sites can help you begin friendships/relationships with other individuals in the same situation as you, and may help you feel more comfortable.

- Don't rush into anything and understand things take time. It’s important to remember to take things at your own pace after having a break from dating. You shouldn't feel pressured to constantly be getting to know new people, arranging dates, or rushing into a new relationship. You will ultimately want things to fall into place and flow naturally, to ensure there are no complications or upsets once you begin dating again.

- Have good communication. Whether you're talking to your friends and family about your feelings, or even your potential new romances, it's important to make sure to share your emotions and feelings. Not only does this help clear your mind, and feel that "weight off your shoulders", you'll generally feel much happier explaining how you feel, and you'll feel more positive about the future.

Have you recently taken a break from dating? What other dating tips would you suggest?

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AD| Online dating has definitely become the new normal, and hundreds of singles are signing up to websites and apps in search of love. Over the last few years, the dating scene has been somewhat disrupted due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the future of dating will most likely follow a more uncertain path as we all get our heads round the lifting of restrictions and getting life "back to normal".

Nowadays, most people believe online dating as a great way to meet someone new and to form new connections and relationships. Meeting people online - whether that's via a UK dating site or the latest online dating app can be extremely nerve-racking, especially for those who haven't dated in a while, but it can also sometimes be dangerous, especially if you aren't 100% careful and making sure to follow certain precautions. But overall, online dating has definitely become more socially acceptable, more common and more normal than ever before. Here are 6 dating tips to help you be more successful in the online dating world.

It can be very hard to know exactly when you'll be ready to date again. Especially just after a breakup from a previous relationship or from being single and spending lots of time alone. Before you even think about engaging in the dating world, the most important thing to consider is that you make sure you are ready to start dating. You need to make sure that you're in the right head space and mind-set to be meeting new people and opening up to others about relationships and dating. You should ideally try to be as open minded as possible as well as be mentally and emotionally prepared to get back on the dating apps. The quote “love yourself first and everything else falls into line" is so relevant here.

Being completely honest about what you want and who you are makes it more likely that others will want to match, begin talking to you and end up meeting with you if things are going well. It's important not only for yourself, but for others to be aware of knowing what you want and what you're looking for. Make sure to be 100% genuine, real and honest with others, and especially with yourself. State your intentions clearly to ensure you're doing what is best for you and to make sure you don't lead anyone on. Whether you're using online dating to build friendships, looking for love, dating for professionals or just testing it out, make sure you're honest with yourself and who you are talking to.

Find the best dating site for you. Choosing a dating site that's perfect for you takes time and research, as there are so many out there right now catering to so many different people; whether that's by age, location, religion or sexuality - whether that's dating in your local area, single parents looking for company or over 50's dating - there is something for everyone. Sometimes you won't strike lucky from just joining one app, it might take signing up to a few to get yourself eased into online dating and to meet people who share common interests with you.

Everyone knows that beginning dating and starting a relationship isn't something that usually happens overnight. Taking your time and being patient is probably the best direction to take when looking for love online. You'll want to make sure your dating journey runs as smoothly and naturally as possible. Spend time getting to know people both online and off. This allows you to see if you have that initial spark, those things in common and if you sense any chemistry between the both of you. There's simply no point rushing into anything too soon, it can become stressful, overwhelming and can making your love life not enjoyable.

Create a good online dating profile. Your dating profile should give a short and sweet overview of who you are as a person and make you stand out from the crowd. There are so many people these days logging on to dating sites and apps, so use this opportunity wisely to express your personality, share your hobbies and what you're looking for etc, allowing people to see an understand who you really are and what you're about. When writing up your profile, make sure to include short, to the point sentences - not paragraphs. People don't have all day to be reading essays, save the in-depth information for when you meet up outside of the dating app. If you want to share your playful, humour side, include emojis to make it fun and make you stand out from the competition.

Not only is a good dating bio essential in being successful online, choosing your best photographs will also help in building a great online profile. Making sure to use some of your most recent and relevant photographs - choose images that are visually interesting and reflect who you are and what you like. Whether you love to travel and have some great holiday snaps or you're into sport and have some amazing memories from previous competitions - be sure to include them as this helps others get to know you better online, before you meet in real life. For those who love a good selfie, pick smiling selfies as these make you look more approachable and friendly helping you to increase those online matches. And finally, when choosing your photographs for your profile, try to avoid using all group photos - this can make it very difficult for potential matches to know exactly who you are, and may put people off from connecting with you as they are unsure.

Are you currently using any dating apps? What other tips would you recommend for those looking for love online?

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AD - GUEST POST | Around the world the COVID-19 pandemic has had a devastating impact on economies but more importantly families and loved ones. This has resulted in an increase in life insurance applications, as people seek to secure their loved one’s financial stability, whatever the future may hold.

Unfortunately, the emotional stresses and strains of COVID have also contributed to a surge in divorce rates. According, to an article in the Independent¹, UK law firms have experienced a 95% year-on-year increase in divorce-related enquiries. Whilst the BBC² have reported a 34% rise in the sales of basic divorce agreements in the US. In this article we seek to answer the key questions on how divorce impacts life insurance in a post-COVID world?

Joint life insurance after a divorce

In the UK it is estimated that approximately 40% of life insurance policies are joint³. This often makes financial sense as joint cover can be up to 35% cheaper compared with two single policies - after all you are likely to have committed to a joint mortgage, so why not life cover too. However, divorce can present a number of challenges, especially if the break-up is not amicable.

Is joint life insurance still valid after divorce?

Yes, as long as the monthly premium payments are maintained and you have not cancelled the policy, then cover will remain in place after a divorce. What’s more, there is no legal obligation to inform your insurer of your change in circumstances, although it can be a good idea.

Typically there are three common outcomes for a joint life policy after a break-up;

One party takes over responsibility for the policy:
You will need to come to an agreement with your ex-partner about who should take over the policy. The policy can then be signed over to them through a legal document. They will then take responsibility for the policy and will need to continue making the monthly payments. It is important to understand that not all insurers offer this option, so you will need to check with your provider.

The policy is cancelled and both parties’ secure new cover:
Sometimes it is easier and more logical to simply cancel the joint policy and look to take our new cover. The new policy can then accommodate any changes in your financial obligations as a result of the divorce. One really important consideration is your age at the point of application. The older you are, the more expensive life insurance will be, because the risk you pose and the likelihood of a claim increases. So, if many years have passed since you took out the joint cover it will be more cost-effective to continue that policy, (if possible).

Evoke a separation benefit:
A separation benefit, sometimes referred to as the separation agreement is an option that is included on some joint policies. This option allows you to split the policy into two in the event of a divorce. When using the separation benefit it’s likely you may need to fill out a form for your insurer and you will also need to include evidence of your divorce.

Life insurance beneficiary after divorce

On a joint life insurance policy, it is likely that each party would have named each other as a beneficiary to help protect the family home, household bills and future living costs etc. However, if you have gone through a divorce, you may no longer want your ex-partner to be a named beneficiary from your policy. If you have decided to cancel the joint policy, this will not be a problem as you can take out new cover and name someone else to benefit from your pay out. However, if you have taken over the joint life insurance policy, you will need to contact your insurer who can provide you with information about the process of changing your beneficiary.

Is joint life insurance considered marital property?

No, fortunately a life insurance policy is not considered marital property. In the event of a divorce, you and your ex-partner will need to come to a mutual decision about what to do with the policy, otherwise it will simply stay in place until the term elapses.

Individual life insurance policy

If you and your ex-partner have your own individual life insurance policies, then nothing necessarily has to change after the divorce. Having two individual policies, although meaning you will need to pay two monthly premiums does offer double the coverage. It also is more future proof if the relationship does not stand the test of time. The policy still covers your life, and nothing necessarily needs to change, although you may want to change the beneficiary who benefits from the policy, as mentioned above.

TOP TIP - Write your life insurance in trust to avoid 40% inheritance tax

Whether you are in a relationship or not, writing your life insurance in trust can be a great idea that could save you thousands. By writing your life insurance in trust you sign over the rights of the policy to a trustee/s, much like the executor of a Will. They then administer the proceeds of the pay out on your behalf.

The key benefits are by doing this the proceeds of your life insurance avoid forming part of your estate and are therefore not subject to inheritance tax, (40% on anything exceeding £325,000). As a result of the pay out falling outside your estate your loved ones will also not have to wait for probate to be granted, meaning a faster pay-out.

That said, if you’ve written your life insurance in trust, but have gone through a divorce this may cause complications. If the policy was written into an absolute trust, it is unlikely you will be able to change the beneficiary on the policy, meaning your ex-spouse is still likely to benefit from your policy. If the policy was written in a flexible or discretionary trust, it’s likely you’ll be able to make the necessary changes to the policy to meet your changing needs.

How has COVID impacted life insurance?

Surprisingly, at the point of writing this article, the COVID-19 pandemic has not impacted life insurance all that much. The cost of premiums have not been inflated, insurers are still paying out on claims and you can still get accepted onto a policy. The main changes have been to the application process. Post pandemic you will now be asked specific COVID-related questions such as, have you ever tested positive for COVID and have you ever been required to self-isolate. Even if you currently have COVID your life insurance application is unlikely to be declined outright. It is much more likely that it will be postponed until you have made a complete recovery.

In summary

The last 18 months have been extremely challenging both mentally and emotionally for much of the population. However, having adequate life insurance in place at least means your loved ones will be provisioned for financially if you no longer around to provide. The cost of life insurance can vary wildly between different insurers, so it is always vital to compare multiple quotes. An effective way of doing this free of charge is to use a comparison website or an FCA regulated broker, such as Reassured/Life-insurance.

The key takeaways;

Joint life insurance policies are approximately 25% cheaper compared with two single policies, but can present problems in the event of a divorce
One half of the couple can take over the joint policy in the event of a break up, if you can come to an agreement
Some policies have a separation benefit which allows you to split the policy
Having your own individual policy is often a safer option, as it can stay with you even if the relationship breaks down
Writing your life insurance in trust can help avoid 40% inheritance tax and probate, but he careful as to which type of trust you use (absolute or flexible)
Joint life insurance is not considered marital property
COVID-19 has not affected the life insurance sector all that much and it is still possible to secure affordable cover

Have you considered life insurance policies?

Sources:
1 https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/divorce-inquiries-rise-pandemic-women-b1843359.html
2 https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20201203-why-the-pandemic-is-causing-spikes-in-break-ups-and-divorces
3 https://www.moneyexpert.com/life-insurance/divorce/

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AD| Disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. These could include physical disabilities, learning disabilities or sensory disabilities as a few examples, where some can be much more noticeable than others. Dating can be an extremely complicated and complex for anyone, but socially, dating with disabilities is rarely spoken about, but the Single Disabled YouTube channel is a great source of information for those who want to understand more about disability dating.

Many individuals may feel embarrassed to discuss what problems they have to deal with, and may struggle when it comes to dating and meeting new people. Nowadays, many date night locations are catering for disabled singles in a number of ways including, features such as step free access, wheelchair ramps, large font menus and accessible toilets for a few examples.

A indoors-styled date in comfort at home can be extremely romantic without the need to spend a lot of money. Having just the company of another people around allows the time spend together to feel more personal and intimate. Having a night in also allows you to set your own mood for the date and choose the atmosphere that is suitable for what you have planned for the afternoon/evening. It can be so much easier to adapt plans when you’re based at home as you won't feel rushed, you won't be late and you can take things ay your own pace, completely relax and enjoy yourself.

One of the most popular at-home date night ideas would obviously include some nice food and a few drinks. Whether you opt for a romantic candle lit dinner or a cheeky takeaway, you can relax with your date and enjoy some nice food together. It can also be quite a nice idea to cook together and enjoy each other's company in the kitchen and have a conversation over a lovely drink.

For those who want something super chilled and relaxed but find the cinema feels a tad overwhelming - grab some drinks, get some snacks/popcorn and enjoy a movie/Netflix night at home. This will allow you to spend some time together in a more comfortable environment, where you can pick some of your favourite films to watch together or even start a new Netflix series.

For those who like a little competition, games and quizzes are the perfect at-home date night idea, especially if there aren't any accessible place near you. Why not host your own? Board games, video games or online quizzes are ideal for those wanting something extremely fun but laid back.

Getting outdoors and enjoying some time out of the house can be quite scary for those who are unsure about places that cater for disabled individuals, especially for those who find their disability really affecting their confidence. However, many outdoors locations are now making sure everyone can use their facilities, and making them as user friendly as they can for everyone.

A perfect 'break the ice' type of date is a trip to the cinema can be an extremely fun, and less nerve-racking style date. It allows you to watch a film that you're both interested in, get used to just being in each other’s company and will give you something to talk about after. Many cinemas feature screenings with subtitles, accessible wheelchair spaces, and usually feature all of their accessibility information available on their websites, making it very easy for disabled singles to plan a trip to their local screening.

Visiting attractions such as aquariums, museums and art galleries are great date locations for when you're not sure what to do but want to go out and find something enjoyable to do together. Whether you're into sport, nature, music, art, science or history, there is something for everyone, making this a great idea for a spontaneous date idea. The good thing is you can go at your own pace and explore all the different activities/exhibitions available at your chosen destination. As well as being great accessible and wheelchair friendly date locations, these types of venues usually cater to other forms of disabilities such as deafness or blindness. You will often find they will have some form of written guide book/ or audio guide to help discover the amazing works at these date destinations.

Finally, for something a little more intimate but still super chilled, a lovely picnic in the park or along the beach front could be exactly what you need. This type of date is much less intimidating than a candle-lit meal at a restaurant, so you will be able to feel comfortable and relaxed, whilst enjoying the fresh air and the lovely views. Being outdoors is extremely calming and refreshing, especially for those feeling nervous whilst dating, getting outside can really uplift your mood and make you less nervous. Whilst being out in public, something like a picnic isn't too overwhelming as you can set up your spot away from others to ensure you can enjoy your time peacefully and will give you the chance to talk about anything.

Have you been on any dates recently? What other date night ideas do you have/would you like to go on??

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AD| Throughout 2020 and 2021, the modern world of dating has completed changed and has impacted the way we meet new people. Single people are connecting digitally with others and spending much more time using online dating sites to meet people with similar interests — even more so due to the coronavirus pandemic we have all experienced.

Meeting people online can be sometimes be dangerous, especially if you aren't careful and follow certain precautions, but it's definitely become more common and more normal than ever before. There are a number of ways in which you can safely begin online dating and making sure you are meeting up with genuine people. So, here are five top tips for how you can have a positive online dating experience and meet new people in a comfortable, safe way.

If possible, it's definitely important to avoid giving out too much personal and private information when you begin talking to new people online. This could include things such as your full name, address, phone number, email address and work/education locations. When you think about, they people you meet online are pretty much strangers, and you obviously don't want them to know too much about you, until you are happy and comfortable to open up more or answer more personal questions when you meet up face-to-face.

Take enough time to get to know the other person before agreeing to meet up in real life. Ask them questions, find out more about their character/personality and make sure they have plenty of photographs that are actually the same person. This allows you to make sure they are genuine and who they say they are. Many dating apps help with this as they install voice/video calling features, allowing you to connect with others instantly.

Meeting up in a well-known area is a key factor in dating safely, as things helps to avoid being alone with someone, somewhere you don't know. Most people will feel more confident and comfortable meeting in a place where you've been before, especially if you're feeling nervous or anxious about meeting for the first time. If possible, try to meet during the daytime, as areas will be busier and you won't have any lighting issues due to daylight. If you're both only available in the evening, choose a place that's fairly busy and filled with other individuals at the time you're planning to meet to avoid being alone and at potential risk.

Something else to consider when online dating/meeting up, is discussing your ideal relationships or what your intentions are with each other to make sure you're both on the same page, whether that's just taking things slowly, getting into a relationships or just looking for sexual activities/partners. Nowadays, many people use generic sites like Tinder or Hinge, but you can also find someone with similar interests online using specific websites and apps including sissy bdsm, sissy dating. You will obviously spend time researching the BDSM community, and make sure to use a trustworthy site if you're looking for something a little more specific. If this is what you're looking for online, then it's extremely important to know how to be safe, or not be hurt during these dating endeavours. From discussing what you like and what you don't like, making sure both parties are comfortable in any activities etc. With any sexual activity, it's important to make sure to use the correct protection, make sure you're enjoying what's going on and to feel strong enough to say no to things you don't want to do or don't feel comfortable with doing.

Probably one of the biggest safety rules you can follow is to trust your instincts. The majority of the time if you feel something is too good to be true, odd comments or behaviour, or you just feel something is off and uncomfortable, you're probably right. If you ever feel like you're not safe or you're in an uncomfortable situation, it's best to leave and get out of there as quickly as possible to avoid any potential dangers. It's always important to make sure that several people know exactly who you're with, where you're going and when to ensure if anything does happen, they can come and help you avoid any risky situations.

Have you used dating sites or apps to meet anyone new recently? What other safety tips do you have/use?

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AD - GIFTED | Many people have struggled through lockdown, not only with their day to day working life, but also their dating and social life has been pretty quiet and non-existent, due to the variety of restrictions that were put in place. But with many of those current rules easing, it is now much easier to get back on the dating scene and meet new people, now that we can meet outdoors, go to restaurants and enjoy some drinks at the pubs/bars.

Lockdown has taught many of us to embrace ourselves, enjoy our own company and make more time for self care and self love. There are many ways how we can feel more confidence, more empowered and more sexually confident when starting to connect with others and begin dating again. Now we can finally go out and about and meet with others, you can now practice those new found skills in real life. Those awkward first dates and nervous giggles will be a thing of the past, as your new found confidence and empowerment will shine through.

It might not be something you think about when starting to date, but meeting new people safely can really help to develop your confidence and improve social skills. Dating sites and apps are increasingly helping to 'meet' safely via video calling or voice calling, helping you to grow closer and connect more easily. Whether that's the typical dating sites like Tinder and Hinge, or something a little different like mybdsmhookups or subsanddoms, whichever sites take your fancy, you're sure to meet people with similar interests to you and get to know them in a safe and fun way. Using dating sites before you finally meet in real life can really help you to feel less anxious, less nervous, and more comfortable, helping to increase your confidence levels and prevent those awkward conversations. Meeting safely is hugely important when starting to date again after a long time. You want to make sure the person you are meeting is genuine and that you will feel comfortable in their company. It's also important to meet in a familiar, safe area to avoid any unwanted problems or dangers.

For those prepping for their big first date, we obviously all want to make a great first impression and look our best. Using beauty salons for manicures or pedicures, getting your hair done at the hairdressers, and getting your brows/lashes done can help with body confidence, mental health and self-care.

When it comes to getting ready for your date, I'm sure we've all been there when your entire wardrobe ends up all over the bed because you have "nothing to wear". Picking cute outfits that you feel confident and comfortable in for date nights can give you that mood boost that you will need, especially if you are feeling anxious or nervous.

Socialising with others can help with mental health as lockdown has made many people feel isolated and lonely. Being around people increases your sense of happiness and well-being, helping to boost your mood and mind set, as well as allowing you to express your thoughts/feelings with others.

Is there anything better than new lingerie? It's empowering, confidence boosting and it makes you feel pretty good. Updating your lingerie collection could be exactly what you need whilst pursuing your body confidence journey. feeling more sexually confident by choosing beautiful and flattering underwear, which can also boost self esteem. There are so many shapes, sizes and styles of lingerie to pick from, there will definitely be something for everyone, and you'll be spoilt for choice!

If you usually play it quite safe on date night, it might be rewarding to choose a more unusual idea for your dates instead of something more generic like dinner and drinks. This can help you feel more confident and empowered, and pushes you out of your comfort zone by forcing you into the unknown. Date locations such as theme parks, crazy golf and other outdoor adventure activities might be worth looking into if you want something fun and different for your next date!

Most importantly, it's necessary to make time for some self care and "me time". We all need to take a step away from reality and have some quality time for ourselves, to help relax, destress and clear your mind. I was kindly sent a parcel filled with female empowerment and mood-setting goodies which included the following items.

1. Lavender Pillow Spray* - This pillow spray is infused with Lavender; a powerful scent that is renowned for its calming and relaxing properties. This could help to reduce your sexual nerves if used in the bedroom, or to calm your anxiety.

2. Amber Noir Candle* - This candle has the most gorgeous, calming yet sexy scent. Deep, musky and sensual, this could be the perfect ambience setter for those bedsheet moments.

3. Empowerment Print* - By having a deep and meaningful quote to live by, it can help you feel strong, powerful, and overall, can help improve your outlook on life.

4. Wellness Journal and Pen* - Having somewhere to note down your thoughts, feelings and goals is all beneficial for personal growth and confidence boosting. Spending 5-10 minutes a day to make notes and spending time to reflect and grow.

Do you have any dates planned soon? What empowerment or body confidence tips do you have?

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